She's A Lady Whoa! A Pregnant Lady
by SerialAuthor
Summary: FemNaruto One time is all it takes to have a baby. And bad food.


**Okay, I am sorry for those of you who don't like a story with a female Naruto, but it's really not your choice. What IS your choice is whether you liked this story. So leave a review and tell me what you thought.**

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>She, yeah a she, Sasuke the misogynist had a friend of the opposite sex, who was his only friend, and would always be, because he honestly believed it was one friend too many, but he couldn't get rid of her. She was extremely persistent when it came to them being best friends. And he accepted it.<p><p>

Kind of.

Well, not anymore. He just realized, yeah, he wasn't as fast as everybody thought sometimes, that he was in love with her. So waking up to her in his bed was not a bad thing. Waking up to find both of them naked in the same bed the smell of sex still in the air was not even close to being a bad thing. So he snuggled up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer.

"What the fuck is going on?" Sasuke stiffened when he heard Naruto whisper the question feeling her move slightly.

Feeling her turn around in his embrace he closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, because he learned, the hard way, that Naruto wasn't a totally normal girl.

"Well, at least I lost it to someone I know," he heard her whisper. He opened his eyes to stare into her blue ones and saw her smile.

"Guess what we did last night?" she asked raising her eyebrow.

He unwrapped his arms from her waist, reluctantly, and stood up.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" she asked, and he winced a little as he heard the anger in her voice.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked trying to quell the anger before it blew, which, usually happened anyways, and then she would blame him for being so easily annoying.

"I want to know if you still want to be friends with me; do you?" she asked her other eyebrow joining the other in the air.

"Yeah, of course," he said not looking at her.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah. Go ahead."

"Were you a virgin?"

He looked at her through the mirror. "Yeah, why do you want to know?"

"I heard that when you sleep with someone you sleep with everyone they've slept with, and I don't want to be sleeping with someone I'll regret doing it with."

Sasuke laughed, and looked back at her. He stared at her as her chest came into view. He tilted his head as his eyes zoomed in on them.

They were cute, small, and perky while her nipples were just a pale pink against her pale-ish tan skin.

"Sasuke what are you looking at?" He blushed, and looked away.

"Nothing."

"Well, as much as I like, not really since it is kind of creeping me out, looking at your dong, I think you should put it away." He frowned grabbing a towel wrapping it around his waist. See, not normal.

"Your boobs are showing."

"Pervert."

"Says the one who was staring at my di-"

"Don't say it. What we did is enough corruption for one day."

He laughed as she stuck her back under the covers.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Sasuke said turning around after ingraining the shape of her body frame under the thin covers.

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><p>He stood under the shower head enjoying the feel of the hot water against his skin. He was so entranced by the relaxing of his muscles that he didn't notice when the shower door opened or the breeze of chilling air hit him when the shower door was pulled open.<p>

"Did you wear a condom?"

Sasuke had never shown more emotion in his whole life then at this moment.

Naruto was dressed in a large Shonen Jump shirt staring at him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I wanted to know whether you wore a condom or not?"

"How am I supposed to know?" he yelled trying to push her out.

"Well, it goes on you doesn't it?" she yelled pushing back.

"I didn't see one," he growled letting her to come into his arms before placing her out of the shower, and closing the door. "Geez, couldn't you have just waited till I was done?"

"NO! I might need an enema," she said banging on the door.

'What? Why?" he yelled.

"I'm ovulating," she groaned.

"What does that mean?" Sasuke asked looking down at her as she rolled around on the floor. He noticed that she wasn't wearing any underwear. After his eyes zoomed onto "that" and refused to budge no matter how much he tried. He didn't know if it was possible but it was cute.

Weird.

". . . pregnant, and I don't want that!" With that he was broken out of his daze.

"What?" He looked up at her face, and noticed that she was looking at him with a disgruntled look on her face.

"Did you not hear me? I spent like five minutes explaining everything and now you want to say 'what,'" she said mimicking him. "God! You're such a douche bag."

Sasuke watched Naruto stand up, and pull the shirt down to cover her nice , plump ass.

Wrapping himself in the towel he followed her back to his room hoping that she didn't trash it like last time, because his brother was still slightly mad at him for that.

"Naruto, come on just tell me one more time what you were saying," he pleaded as he watched her take off the shirt, and put her own on.

"I was saying," she huffed putting on her pants, "that since you were an irresponsible douche bag last night you probably fertilized me."

"What do you mean by fertilize?"

"I might have a bun in the oven, a little surprise in nine months, a visit from the stork. Just know that if I am pregnant with your kid I will make you pay."

Sasuke watched her put on her shoes, and mumble something about never eating his food again, seeing as the reason for last night was totally his fault due to his inability to cook and thinking he got one right he wanted to share it.

"Will you tell me?" he asked.

She looked up at him smiling. "Oh hell yeah I'm tellin'. I'll tell the whole school. If I can't go on dates and go to wild parties then neither can you. Misery needs company," she said leaving his room.

He didn't get dressed until he heard the front door slam, because Naruto had a tendency to come at times where he was vulnerable, and with things to record his embarrassment with.

Later in the day after hanging his bed sheets he decided that maybe he should visit Naruto with a peace offering. Grabbing his wallet, it as one that Naruto had made by hand for him as a present for one of his birthday's, which one he couldn't remember since she was always giving him something handmade, and leaving his home without greeting his brother. On his way to Naruto's home he stopped by some ramen place that she always talked about and picked her up the largest take-out of ramen that he could carry, and hoped that it lasted at least a couple of minutes. Probably wouldn't, but he could hope.

When he reached her house he noticed that there was something different due to the fact that he couldn't hear Kakashi, Naruto's adoptive father, being yelled at for touching Iruka, Naruto's other adopted father who acted more like a mother, inappropriately.

Needless to say he was totally pissed off when he noticed a note on the door in Naruto's sloppy handwriting telling him that they went on a cruise that she had forgotten to tell him about. She also added that when she came back at the start of the school year that she'd let him know whether to expect some biscuits to be baking. It took him a couple of seconds but he finally realized what she was talking about when he remembered those analogies she used to say that she might be carrying his child.

Awkward. He knew for a fact that if Naruto really did get pregnant that there was a chance that he might die at the hands of Iruka so until he knew he'd just try to be on Iruka's good side, which would be hard since for some reason Iruka just seemed to always be bugged by him. Kakashi had just let him know when he became friends with Naruto, though the man had taken them to be more than that, which they weren't, when they had first started hanging out together years earlier and threatened him that if he ever hurt Naruto he'd use his "connections". Sasuke couldn't help but suppress a shudder when he had first heard that. He had heard rumors of these "connections," and they all freaked him out.

As Sasuke left their yard to drop off the large amount of ramen he had at a nearby soup kitchen he began to wonder if it was too early to update his will.

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><p>The cruise had been going well until the first morning when she threw up a lung, or at least that's what it felt like as the food she had gorged on moved its way through her esophagus.<p>

She was happy that the first thing that Iruka had thought was that she had food poisoning, and she wouldn't deter him from that theory, because she didn't want to be nagged to death about irresponsible decisions, and get another mentally scarring sex talk from Kakashi. She still hadn't recovered from the one she had received in fifth grade, and she was pretty sure that Sasuke hadn't either, because he refused to be their when Kakashi was.

"Oh, Naruto," she heard Iruka coo in her ear as he held back her hair so she could throw up again.

Luckily for her she was expecting this. Sasuke was an Uchiha which meant he didn't fail, and so she had been expecting that she was "with child" for a while, or at least was going to be. Call it woman's instinct.

Expecting this she had spent the first week doing everything she knew she wouldn't be able to when that accursed egg from her ovary traveling through her fallopian tube to the position it was in when Sasuke banged her and fertilized it and then it went to her uterus and dug into her vaginal wall and released the hormone to change her life, and body, forever.

Honestly, it would be her first time that would get her pregnant, too. And she also would have to be not able to remember her first time. Man, she was lucky.

"I think I'm done," huffed out wiping her mouth.

"Do you know why this is happening?" Iruka asked helping her up.

Naruto had a brief thought to tell him that she was pregnant, but that quickly disappeared when she remembered that they were out in the ocean. It would be very easy to kill her and dispose of the body.

She shrugged. "Maybe it's the fish."

"Well, I guess its a good thing that we only have a couple of days left," Iruka told her standing up.

"Can we go shopping?" Naruto asked going to the sink to wash her mouth out.

"Yeah, you can charge everything to the room since Kakashi is paying."

Naruto looked at Iruka who was not looking too happy. She smiled as she wondered what Kakashi did now to make Iruka angry at him.

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><p>"Hey Sasuke LoserPants! How'd you do without two weeks of this beauty around you?" Naruto asked standing in the middle of her friend's room, which was disgustingly immaculate in her opinion.<p>

Sasuke cracked an eye open, and stared at the girl before turning the other way and going back to sleep.

"Oh poo," Naruto playfully huffed. "It's not nice to treat your baby mama like a nuisance."

It took Sasuke a moment, but when he understood he was perfectly alert.

"You know I blame this on you, right?" Naruto smiled.

"Do your parents know?"

"Yeah, Iruka caught me with his freaky spider senses. I'm telling you he has a beacon for me that tells him when there is a bad moment for him to walk in on."

"So, you're really pregnant?" he asked sitting up in bed interrupting what may have turned into a rant about how Iruka was so spy-like that he must have been one. It had nothing to do with the fact that Naruto couldn't lie for her life, and was bad at holding secrets. Plus, she had a weakness for things that would disappoint her parents.

"Yeah, and Kakashi wants to talk you for some reason," Naruto scrunched up her face sitting on his computer chair.

Sasuke was up, and out of his bed heading towards his bathroom before Naruto had finished. Naruto may have been oblivious to how dangerous her second adoptive father was, but he wasn't.

Naruto followed him into the bathroom, and sat down on the toilet seat lid, and talked to him while he took a quick shower.

"Hey, when are we going to tell your parents?"

Something fell.

"Sasuke? Are you okay in there?"

No answer.

"I've seen you naked once so don't think I won't pull the curtain back," she warned placing a hand on the dark sheet.

"No," Sasuke coughed out from inside the shower. "I'm fine. Just a little slip."

"Boy, Sasuke," Naruto smiled sitting back down, "you're having a lot of slip ups today."

Sasuke kept his mouth shut, and his fists to himself.

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><p>"So, son, what you're saying is that this situation is your fault? Entirely?" Fugaku asked.<p>

Sasuke nodded from his place by Naruto's side.

"That's what Naruto told us too, but it seems that it's true," Iruka confirmed with a quick, and dangerous, glance to Sasuke. "So what were your plans going to be children?" Iruka asked.

Naruto looked puzzled, smiled, and then looked to Sasuke for an answer to that question.

Sasuke fought the urge to leave quickly as all eyes were literally on him. Thank you, Naruto, for the support, he thought.

"Well," he began, "Naruto was just supposed to make sure, and then we would start planning."

Naruto nodded along quickly obviously liking what was coming out of his mouth.

"Why aren't you asking Naruto any of these questions?" Sasuke asked in a moment of acting his true age.

"She's more of a wing it person," Iruka answered, and everyone in the room nodded to that, even Naruto, though she wasn't sure whether it was a compliment, or a put-down.

"What can I say? It's true," Naruto smiled beaming.

"We'll help you, Sasuke, but we want you to know that most of the responsibility will be on your shoulders," Mikoto interjected. "And Naruto's, of course," she smiled at the blonde before turning back to her son, "but mostly your's. As a father you have to protect, and provide for your family. I have no doubt you'll succeed with role models such as Kakashi, Iruka, and your father."

Sasuke nodded. That wasn't a lie.

He looked towards Kakashi who had sat silently staring at him, and grimaced. He felt as if the gaze was mocking him. It was saying, "If Neji, or Shikamaru were in his place the next eighteen to nineteen years of the growing child's life would have been planned out already." It irked him to be compared to that Hyuga asshole. Shikamaru, he didn't mind, because he was a true genius. Just lazy.

The Hyuga, though. that was a different matter. One he'd like to maim with his bare hands.

He looked away from the masked smirk.

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><p>He got a job at his father's company, and he was forced to move in with Naruto, and having to live with what he used to be lucky enough to only have to sleep next to only during sleepovers.<p>

The months passed, and Naruto got glowy, and beautiful, and gorgeous, and he wanted to gouge his eyes out with a spoon.

He used to think that sex with someone who was pregnant should have been against the law, but having been coerced into participating in the act, and enjoying it thoroughly, he might add, his mind on that subject changed.

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><p>Now here they were in the delivery room with Naruto crying while holding Iruka's hand in one, and Sasuke's in the other noticeably crushing his while letting Iruka's hold the other tan hand, Sasuke was only mildly jealous, because the pain made it hard to focus. Mikoto was catching the "Miracle of Childbirth" on her new camera, that apparently shot 1080P HD, to send to everyone that ever lived, or so Sasuke believed, and Fugaku and Kakashi were stoically standing ignoring what was going on by talking about what was going on in the world, and the stock market. Seeing the girl you've seen grow up give birth must have been too much.<p>

"Turn that fucking camera off, or I swear when I'm done I'm going to cram my foot up your ass!" Naruto yelled pushing while Sasuke wiped the sweat off her face with the hand he could still use.

Mikoto lowered the camera for a moment surprised.

"Oh dear, it must be more painful than I remembered," she commented lightly to herself. "Do you think you can give her more drugs?" she asked turning to the anesthesiologist.

Pulling out a needle the man nodded. "I hate it when they yell at me too," he mumbled to her reassuringly as he moved towards the bed.

Two hours later Naruto was fighting off sleep, and waiting to hold her baby while Sasuke paced around the room, Mikoto still had that fucking camera on her, Iruka was comforting her and making sure she was comfortable, which she appreciated since Sasuke seemed to be ignoring her to be in his own freakishly small world, and Fugaku and Kakashi were now talking about the price of tea in China, which really confused her since, hello, they were in Japan, stupid.

"Here you go," a bubbly nurse smiled bringing in the child in a pink blanket. "A baby girl. Congratulations!"

Iruka placed a hand on Naruto's arm that was twitching to hit the happy, _happy_, woman. She was annoying.

"Here you go, teen mommy," she smiled placing the baby in her arms, and fixing the way she was holding the pink bundle. She was really lucky that it was at that time she placed the newborn in Naruto's arms, because that name was annoying. "Good, now how does it feel?"

Naruto stared down at the small face, and smiled. She and Sasuke made gorgeous babies.

. . .

Or was it just that Sasuke, and her made gorgeous babies.

. . .

Oh wow, no wonder she barely passed her Grammar class. It was confusing.

"It's amazing," she answered beaming again.

Sasuke was off in the corner cursing his luck. Girls attracted boys, and that was something he didn't want.

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><p><strong>I don't know what happened, but you don't even know how long this has been here. And for those who noticed, yes, I totally rushed the ending. If I didn't it would probably never get done. If I ever do end up, you know, really finishing it, I'll post it as another chapter after this.<strong>

**Oh, and P.S. The last line is about Sasuke having a baby girl, you know, how typically dad's are protective of their baby girls. Ha ha, LoL. I guess it's just me. Nothing new.**


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